I was meant for more.

It’s 2021 and we’re still in another lockdown, woohoooo new year, same me and all of that jazz. Is it just me that is finding this Lockdown harder than 1.0 and 2.0?

In all honesty, these past few lockdowns haven’t really phased me much in terms of not being able to go out, but the other day I messaged Sam saying how bored I was and how annoying it was that there was actually nothing to do and he was like “You’ve only just noticed?” but I actually just kind of have lol.

I think because I was “allowed” to celebrate my birthday with my friends and Sam’s birthday, I got to celebrate the things that I wanted to and now looking back, am exceedingly grateful that, that was a possibility.

I had my results back today and I actually tested positive for having Corona. I was confident it wasn’t Rona at first but soon realised it was as I haven’t been able to smell or taste anything for 5 days now and honestly I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life. It’s awful.

It’s like I’m not human, like I’m breathing in air and nothing. I can’t smell my breath, creams, room scents absolutely nothing. I’m so self-conscious of how I smell, I have to keep asking Sam and believe me he’d take so much pride in saying that I do.

I aim to write content every three weeks (they absolutely fly-by, I nearly forgot this blog) but I am keen to be a consistent carol and keep these coming, serving you nothing but witty informative realness!

As social media has become a part of societies everyday life, it’s no wonder why more and more people are aspiring to be nothing short of an Instagram “Influencer” and I mean, if I had a product that I wanted to promote and have exposure on then I would pay a well known, highly followed Instagrammer too.

Why wouldn’t you? The amount of money you save on marketing and advertising is insane so seriously, why wouldn’t you?

The term influencer, is a person with the ability to influence potential buyers of a product or service by promoting or recommending the items on social media and as we didn’t have to buy the product (Instagram app), we ARE the product meaning that we are subconsciously influenced through our social media apps whether we like it or not.

Majority of the time, we spend our money on products that we THINK we have chosen because we like, when in reality it’s been embedded within our brains to buy them as we’ve seen this numerous times on our feeds without acknowledging.

Seemingly now a days there are a lot of women on Instagram who are into fashion influencing, so this entails being sent clothes, putting together outfits and taking cute (highly edited and near impossible to get) photos in the hope that we will picture how amazing we look in those clothes and place an order.

Whilst I have absolutely nothing wrong with fashion influencers at all (I follow a load of them), I do have a problem with the whole of the UK wanting to do this as a job. Slight exaggeration? I think not.

I have seen ‘Businesses’ on Instagram, where women (mainly) pay money to subscribe to a ‘Social Media and Digital Marketing’ team and they will teach you how to become an Influencer. There are so many things wrong with this and I will explain to you my thoughts.

  1. A lot of the times, people fall into influencing. Influencing can’t be taught, if people LIKE you they will follow you.
  2. Charging money to teach people how to become “likable” is actually quite damaging and very unethical.
  3. We’re re-enforcing the idea that having a high amount (thousands) of Instagram followers is something to aim for and a worthwhile life goal to work towards (which is most definitely is not).
  4. Having a large following on Instagram is not going to pay your bills and if it does, we can’t be sure this is going to create longevity and be sustainable.
  5. We are encouraging young girls to always look their best and post their best pictures in return to get the things that they want i.e. collabs and brand deals – basically saying if you look pretty, you can have stuff.
  6. Overall, just setting very unrealistic expectations for young girls to follow thus creating negative social comparisons against themselves and others.

It’s not cool and to think that people are actually making money from these sorts of services. They even charge to create you a ‘media kit’ where they will create you a kit with images, explaining what you can offer to brands and how many followers you have etc., that A LOT of young girls are buying into.

This isn’t a blog to bash influencers or social media in any way, I’m merely expressing my thoughts. What I would like to discuss today though, is how social media has warped us into questioning our own purpose and how we go about finding this (it’s not all bad).

Having a sense of purpose is a great thing to have, but what we shouldn’t let it do, is cloud our vision over stable, secure jobs that we have worked so damn well hard to get and even harder to keep.

I’m all for having a sense of purpose and I believe everyone should tap into whatever they feel they were bought here to do, whether that be influencing, painting, dancing, presenting, whatever it is. Purpose makes us feel alive, valued and needed.

I often speak about the beauties and downfalls of social media going hand in hand and so they do. As well as making us compare our lives, they can also help to spark inspiration and creativity, which is exactly what it did with me.

Talking from my own experience, I’ve never really deemed myself as having much of a talent per say. I am good at a few things, such as acting, singing and writing but I’ve never felt like I’ve had a sense of craft. I would always see people on socials thriving in their passions and it honestly just made me feel like I was meant for more.

I enjoy working a FT job because I HATE managing and being in charge so a job working for someone else, suits me down to the ground. I enjoy my job role, the people I work with and all in all, coming in doing my work and leaving (leaving work AT WORK).

Over the past year, there’s been an increasing amount of people that I follow that have become founders and directors of businesses. Although this is amazing news for them, it really started to displease me that I hadn’t got anything to call my own. I didn’t have a business idea or a product that I could pitch.

It was all I was seeing on Instagram and I started to doubt my own sense of self. What was I actually here to do? What was I good at that I could monetize from? What product could I produce and sell that would make a difference to people?

Then I really had to bring myself back down to reality. Elle hun, you’re no way business minded or orientated and deep down you have no interest in producing a product or running a business, so why are you letting socials influence you into thinking you do?

That still didn’t stop me from wanting to have something I could call my own. I watch tarot readings on YT (it used to be every month, but I let it consume me so I’ve reduced it to every few months) and the lady read the cards and explained that I was going to get back into doing something creative that I really loved doing, a hobby that I adored when I was younger.

I racked my brains for days pondering on what it could be. I still didn’t believe that I was good at anything, let alone anything creative! A few days passed and I remember the idea popping into my head like a pop tart. I want to start a blog!

I’d always LOVED writing when I was younger and at one point I wanted to become a journalist. I used to write stories on loads and loads of A4 lined paper, hide them away when I was done and then find them, read through them and continue the story from where I’d left of.

Along with writing, I love to read and so the two of them went hand in hand perfectly, making for an excellent English student (If I do say so myself). I’m not sure why I stopped writing, I think I just kind of grew out of it as I got older and that makes me sad.

I messaged Amanda right away blasting her with ideas and thoughts and as usual she pushed me into actually bringing that vision to life and Elleblogs was born!

I have been blogging now for only 5 months and I seriously feel as though I’ve been doing this my whole life. It feels so natural to be able to write the way I do and connect with my readers. The comments I get from my blogs are overwhelming and it’s clear to see, that at last I have found my purpose.

In conclusion, what I’m trying to say is, feeling like you have a greater purpose in life or wanting a sense of purpose is NOT a bad thing, infact I encourage it. However forcing yourself to have the same purpose as others, because you see them doing it (i.e. influencing), is only causing a detriment to yourself.

Whatever it is, that feels good and makes you happy whilst you’re doing it – keep on doing it. This is what your purpose is and that is going to carry you a long way. It’s your gift from the universe so embrace it with open arms.

Whether that’s a karaoke singer in black pool making all the oldies cackle and howl or whether it’s a sumo fighting teacher in Japan wrestling down half naked, oiled and fatty men. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

You need to OWN your purpose, STAND TALL and SCREAM from the top of the rooftops about it. Let it consume you and fill you with so many emotions and excitement you don’t know what to do with. Bask in it, live in it, flourish in it, EXCEED your potential and achieve greatness.

Even if you feel like you aren’t passionate about something or aren’t good at something, I PROMISE you, you are. This might even be as simple as the job you’re doing now, you’re doing it amazingly because it’s what you were born to do.

I know things are real bleak at the moment with what’s going on, but I promise you, you’ll get through this, we all will. Anyone that’s struggling reading this, pop me a DM on Insta and I will do my best to help you smile.

Take care and stay safe,

E x

Author: Elle Weaver

Written by Elleblogs, she offers readers a lighthearted look into her life by creating fun, unfiltered and honest blog posts which taps into the real life issues, joys and expectations we face as millennials. Elle Weaver is a 25 year old female of mixed heritage, based in Birmingham, England UK.

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