Your girl is finally moving out! This is the first (of many) goals that I can now tick off my ‘Chapter 2021’ list. I’m actually very proud. We’re in the second month of the year and in a worldwide pandemic and I’ve managed to secure myself a nice little apartment with my boyfriend – for those of you who know, my Sammy.
I’ve come to the realisation that moving out with your partner, is actually more stressful than moving out alone. You leave things in the hands of “I’ve got it don’t worry, I’ll sort it”, to come to realise that it’s not actually sorted, and they don’t actually ‘have it’.
I have moved out once before. When I was 21, I travelled half way across the world to live in Dubai for 14 months. I lived in a villa with 2 other girls and so all of my furniture was already there and the only thing I had to take was my suitcase! Moving to another country alone, seemed a lot less difficult than moving into an apartment around the corner with my boyfriend.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Sam with all of my heart and there is no one in this world I’d rather do this moving journey with, but as selfish as it sounds, I wish he would just let me get on with things! I say that because I suffer with anxiety and therefore, naturally, I like to be in control of things. If I don’t feel like I have control, I will get anxious and overthink and that isn’t good for anyone.
Poor Sam, I do feel it for him. I send him countless messages throughout the day with links, pictures and ideas of how to decorate the apartment. We’ve got into a few arguments with me trying to control things and ‘over-stressing’, but it can’t be helped and I feel he knows that by now and so he’s just kind of let me be.
We haven’t actually moved yet, we move this Saturday and it cannot come any sooner. It feels like we’ve been waiting for this day for so long and it’s actually happening! Currently, all of my stuff is packed away in storage boxes and my clothes are in bin bags looking all sad and useless.
I actually thought I had a lot more stuff in my room than what I do, and thought that I had a lot less clothes than I do! I will never say that I don’t have anything to wear again, because that my friend – is a big fat FIB.
I guess you never really think about the bits and pieces that you need to get sorted when you move out…until you move out! I find myself sitting there at work and a random thought will come into my head about moving, that I’d actually never considered before. All these things I don’t think about, because I’ve never had to.
I have created a list of errands that need to be done before we move in and a list of furniture that need to be bought ASAP – some of these include:
- Storage Boxes for moving – TICK
- Get kitchen utensils sorted – TICK
- Buy toaster/kettle set –
- Buy a fridge – TICK
- New Bed/Mattress –
- Buy command strips for hanging things –
- Arranging for SKY to install WIFI – TICK
- TV Cabinet downstairs – TICK
The notes section in my phone is a lifesaver. I can’t be the only one that uses it to it’s full advantage. It’s probably the most used App in my phone. For years I’ve used my notes to keep things like my budget, shopping lists, gym workouts, films to watch, clothing websites and other pointless things like Instagram captions.
WOW how expensive is furniture?! I was looking at washing machines the other day, and for a decent one – you’re looking at starting prices of around £300. *Gulps* I’m someone who likes to get as many items as I physically can afford instantly and then live off crumbs for the rest of the month. I understand I can no longer do that and need to budget sensibly with further outgoings such as council tax and utilities that I have to look forward to (the joys!)
We thought about financing some of the items (Sam, my credit score is shocking) but then decided against it, as it makes sense just to buy them when we can and get it out the way with. That way, we can focus any extra money on savings and holidays (another two of my goals for this year).
I’m so indecisive as well (libra life). I kid you not, I have spent the last week or so looking, on and off at kitchen appliances. Call me picky, but I couldn’t find a toaster/kettle set that I really liked. I have found a nice set from John Lewis now but never in a million years, did I think I’d ever have so much of a hard decision trying to decide these things, but I know that if I left this down to Sam, he’d find some in 10 minutes and I’d hate them.
If you’re planning to move out this year and don’t have any knowledge of the rental market then let me enlighten you. There are fees involved. Before any furniture or decorating, you will need to have some savings in order to get the ball rolling.
You will need a holding deposit (to secure the property whilst CRF and employment checks are going through, usually 1 weeks rent), a security deposit (this gets put into the Deposit Protection Scheme until you leave the property, usually 1 month’s rent) and also one month’s rent payment in advance (they will minus your holding deposit).
I knew there were fees involved before being allowed to move into the property but I wasn’t quite sure what they were, so just a little head’s up incase you were wondering. I don’t really agree with the fact that you have to have a load of savings in order to be able to move. You can decorate your place as you go, picking up bits here and there. There are credit plans available and also there are cheaper market places online for you to browse at.
I think that if I would have saved hundreds and then spent all/most of it on furniture, it actually would have crushed my heart. Plus I quite like the fact that Sam and I are working our way up from the bottom, making our house into a home (fully aware it’s an apartment but it would not have had the same gist) slowly, together piece by piece. It makes it more special. Real posh and Becks style.
I’d love to eventually one day, buy a piece of land/run down house and completely renovate it to how I’d like. But for now…I’ll work with the small space that I have.
I have always been quite independent with making my own money, I got my first job at Papa Johns when I was 16 and ever since I tasted my own financial freedom, I’ve never looked back. Although, living at home for almost all of my childhood-early adolescent life, it was always just me and my mom. I have an older brother but really, it’s always been me and her.
I originally tried to hide the fact that I was moving out and so when Sam and I went for the first viewing, we told Sam’s mom and everyone else apart from her. She soon found out when I had enclosed the application form in my laptop when I had been scanning information over and had forgot to throw it away when I had finished.
Ange found it and of course she was really emotional. My mom and I are super close, and so I knew this news would affect her. As well as relying on me financially, she also relies on me emotionally and physically. My mom started to get excited for us when she could see how excited we were and so it made me feel less guilty and more ready to leave!
I am only moving literally a 5 minute walk a way and so I think that fills my mom with reassurance more than anything. We can have mother’s meetings at the launderette and walks over the park when she’s over there with my dog (who I’m going to miss unbelievably) and so it’s not all doom and gloom. It could be worse, I could be in DUBAI!
Another thing that I had NO IDEA about is decorated. The place that we are moving into is new and renovated. It used to be a big house, which has now been turned into apartments. It seems to be a common theme with newly renovated/decorated places, where the landlord doesn’t want you to make any changes to the exterior or interior. This would include; making holes in the wall – hanging picture frames up, TV brackets, painting and so on.
I’m honestly not fussed about decorating as the carpet and paint is new and are fairly neutral, but if the landlord thinks I’m not putting shelves or TV’s up, he has another thing coming. If you want me to stay in a property for at least a year, then you should know that I’ve got to make a few homey touches (Shrek quote, if you know)
I spoke to the Estate Agent and he said “As long as you leave it how you found it, it will be fine”, I used to be a real estate agent in Dubai and that’s basically code for, “You aren’t allowed to change anything, but as long as you change it back to how it looked before the landlord finds out, you’re sweet.”
Another thing that I can’t get my head around is compromising. I have visions in my head of having a very neutral, minimalist apartment, with lots of beiges/creams and sage green colors. Sam shows me certain things that he wants to buy and in my head I’m screaming ‘No please, that’s tacky!’ but I have to fake my smile and say ‘Mmm, that’s nice’ because I can’t always have things my way.
I have to keep reminding myself that it’s both of our apartment and so we both have an equal say in things (however hard that may be for me). Generally, Sam and I do have the same taste in things which is good, but sometimes he can like the craziest things and he says that I have ‘a granny taste’ which I’m guessing means boring, which kind of means basic and basic means minimal. Yes Sam, I do have minimal taste but at least I don’t want a lamp which also charges phones.
I have found myself showing items to him with the full intention of buying them, but to hear what he has to say first, to make it feel as though he is contributing and actually having a say, when in reality it was always going to be bought. Is that reverse phycology? I’m not sure if it is, but it’s working and so we will continue with that method until he notices.
Even though there are plenty of appliances and furniture to buy, I’m honestly really enjoying this new found sense of freedom and responsibility. I may moan about spending 3 days looking at kitchen appliances, but I low-key love it! Choosing my own color schemes and brands and making the place look our own is truly all we’ve wanted and so now that it’s here, I really am trying not to take the fun out of things.
I certainly am going to miss my home comforts. My mom messaging ‘Tea?” when she can hear that I’ve not long woken up. Coming home to fresh washing on my bed and my bed all freshly made. Hearing my mom shout “Dinner!”, and that home cooked smell hitting my nose as I stroll out of my room, after being hungover all day.
I’ll miss my dog. I’ll miss my room. I’ll miss my bath. I’ll miss laughing at my mom’s silly jokes as she dances around the kitchen with a spatula in her hand. I’ll miss being waken up in the morning from my nephew making demands with cereal and my niece stomping across the landing (I know I’d take that back in a heart beat if I was actually woken up one more time).
I’m going to miss everything so much, I really am. This is no longer my home anymore and that makes me so sad to think about.
On the other hand, I’m excited. I’m grateful, I’m happy and I’m ready. I’m about to move in with the love of my life and nothing feels better. We are going to share a home, where we will create amazing memories together, to add to the unforgettable ones that I am already so lucky to have.
There comes a time when we must leave the nest. An experience that is admittedly – bittersweet. Moving out so far has been challenging and I haven’t even got to the hard part…actually moving out. However one of the hardest parts for me was, in fact, gaining the confidence to believe that I can make it on my own (or as a couple).
Remember, sometimes your only transportation is your leap of faith!
I’ll update you all on how I get on with the move and how it is living alone with my best friend and boyfriend in my next blog, ❤
MWAH! E x