WARNING: This is a personal blog. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner.
Hey guys! It’s safe to say I’ve been a bit MIA these past few weeks, as you can imagine, with the stress of settling into my new home, writing content was the last thing on my mind.
Recently I’ve found that if I put too much pressure on myself to write, then I feel like I’m doing it for the wrong reasons and it’s not enjoyable. I found myself writing just to get content out there, rather than writing because I want to. With that being said, I will no longer have a set schedule on when to publish content, they will be more sporadic in order to aid my creative juices.
This topic is a topic that I think most women will be able to relate to in one way or another. Today, we discuss all thangs pink and powerful – the female vagina, and oh baby what a powerful little thing it is. Did you know that the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings? Plus it’s the only organ in the human body that is exclusively for pleasure.
Although having said that, majority of women have only ever experienced an orgasm when it’s orchestrated by themselves. Crazy isn’t it? In the 21st century, it’s evident that we live in a penetration obsessed culture in which case, the clitoris and other members of the vaginal family get over looked.
In school, we’re taught that we have a vagina which serves one purpose – to reproduce. A male sticks his penis into the vagina, the sperm meets the egg and 9 months later, a baby is born. We’re taught the importance of wearing a condom because of STI’s and teenage pregnancy, but that’s all it ever amounts too.
Whilst I know that teaching 11 year old’s about the pleasure of touching themselves is wild, I do believe a conscious effort should be made to shift the focus off only having sex to reproduce and more so on the acceptance of feeling free and confident enough to want to.
What I really want to get to the root of, is why as women we sacrifice our happiness, pleasure and orgasms, in the hope to please our men instead. We have spent centuries fighting for women’s rights and equality, only to sell ourselves short in the bedroom.
Even if you don’t particularly like them, you have to rate the likes of artists such as Cardi B and Megan the Stallion (girl crush) for being so open and upfront with their sexual desires. ‘Put this pussy right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card. Hop on top I want to ride, spit in my mouth look in my eyes. Tie me up like I’m surprised, let’s role play, I’ll wear a disguise’
Some may find it vulgar, I find it liberating. These women don’t lay down and put up, they take ownership of their bodies and dictate what brings them pleasure. How many of you have really been upfront about what you want when it comes to sex? Come on…I’ll wait.
I understand there will be a few ladies that are able to take charge in the bedroom and instantly insert themselves when it comes to their sexual appetite, however a lot of us women feel inferior when it comes to discussing what feels good for us.
I used to have a friend who was in a long-term relationship with their partner and whenever he wanted to have sex, she would make sure that she came from oral sex at least once, before he was allowed to penetrate her. Although it does sound a little militant, I feel this is something that all ladies should aspire to reach for, ‘Until I’m pleased, you wont be’.
There has been plenty of times I’ve been more concerned with my facial expressions and how I look during sex, than actually focusing on what feels good and feeling mentally involved within the act itself. ‘Oh my god I must look so bad from this angle’, ‘Can you see my bogies from down there?’ is just a few of the thoughts that cross my mind along with a line of others.
Ladies we have needs, the same way that men do and we need to stop giving so easily to please men and in turn, having our needs overlooked. I’m sure we’re all guilty for faking an orgasm. Why do we do this? Sometimes I feel we’re just bored and want to be doing something else, then other times I feel that our sexual partners might need an ego boost, but essentially what is the reason?
If we pretend that we’ve orgasmed, our sexual partners are going to keep doing that, forever because they “think” it feels good and not just you, he is going to be doing that nonsense with every poor girl that comes after you. Essentially, faking it is detrimental to womenkind!
If I found out that a guy was faking it with me, I’d be gutted! How dare you think my ego is so fragile, that you have to lie to me to protect me – YACK. Also, as well as causing a detriment to yourself, it also robs your partner of their sexual autotomy. If they don’t know, how can they ever learn?
When we start to have sex in our teens (our whenever that may be for you), it’s never usually for us to cum, it’s mainly about peer pressure from our friends, validation to make your partner “love” you more and as women, we never really get much out of the experience. If I’m totally honest penetrative sex isn’t that great…
As I’ve got older and wiser (debatable), I’ve grasped the concept that cumming is a two way thing, and you deserve it as much as your partner does. If you’re going to take part in the physical activity that is sex, then equally, you deserve to feel good.
The female vagina is amazing. We have so many secret spots that are called ‘Erogenous zones’ that can make us tingle. “An erogenous zone is an area of the human body that has heightened sensitivity, which, when stimulated, may create a sexual response such as relaxation, thoughts of sexual fantasies, sexual arousal and orgasm.”
Let’s start with the G-Spot (If you put your finger 2-3 inches into your vagina reaching upwards and make a ‘come here’ motion with your fingers then that’s exactly where the G-Spot is and when you feel her, baby you’ll know!
Your G-Spot is a spot that feels slightly rougher than other parts, but this particular area is more easily stimulated by the fingers, than other areas of your vagina. So FYI if you haven’t given Mrs G a little feel around then you most definitely should, she’s un-real…
Next up we have the clitoris – Now a lot of women do need to have this stimulated enough in order to orgasm, which is probably where the issue lies appertaining to women not having orgasms. Most men will rub the wrong clit for 2 minutes and then try and shove their penis in, am I wrong?
Besides the fact that we feel too embarrassed to correct them, we pretty much know we aren’t going to get properly stimulated and leave it for what it is. We fake moan and kind of shift ourselves for it to feel good-ish and let them continue as they please.
Behind your mons pubis (your pubic hair) lies your clitoral hood, underneath that is the tip of your clitoris, it’s a few inches above the vagina opening and right in-between where your labia meets at the top. I’m pretty sure that all of you ladies are familiar with your clit, she’s such a sensitive sally!
Fun Facts about the poontang (awful word, I cant shake it) that blew me away…
- 50 to 75% of women who have orgasms need to have their clitoris touched
- The clitoris varies in shapes and sizes
- Clitoris is the Greek word for key (makes sense!)
- A vagina can grow to up to two times its normal size when aroused
- Only 1/4 of the clitoris is showing, the rest extends back into your body making a wish bone shape that’s about 3 inches long!
The importance of pussy pleasure, is so important and I want all of us women to get the maximum satisfaction that we can out of it. Women have to deal with periods, childbirth, patriarchy and can’t even get one orgasm, wtf?
There was one game-changer that completely changed the way that I viewed having sex and that was from being with a woman. I’ve never openly admitted that I’m bisexual, but that I am. I’ve always known since the age of 13 and had always wanted to explore that side of myself. When I had my first sexual experience with a woman, I can safely say, in those sacred moments I knew what pleasure was.
The dynamics with a woman was cutting edge. I didn’t feel anxious to try to look good, I didn’t feel pressure to try and please. All I could do was relax and feel good. The fakery was no more and it was a blissful experience. Since that encounter, I promised myself that If I were to ever fake an orgasm again, I would only be doing myself a disservice and although it hasn’t completely stopped, it’s made me more aware. (If you are interested in dating women, go for it – you will not regret it).
If there is one thing I want you to do after this reading this blog (please don’t do this in public), is to explore yourself. Take a moment to sit back and relax and find out what makes you feel good. Is it better slower? Do you like just the clit action or are you an allrounder?
Figuring out what makes you feel good, will not only make you feel more confident and assertive in the bedroom, but it will also ensure that you are getting what you deserve out of pussy pleasure.
Girls we don’t have time to fake these anymore. I’m on a road to fake orgasm recovery and I think we should all join hands. Is anyone else pledging their alliance? 😉
Pussy and peace,