- The practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time.
- The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner.
You should all know me by now and my love for controversy. I love to discuss topics that may seem off limits and give you my opinions on everything, however unconventional and abnormal they seem to the average person.
I think I may upset some people with this blog post as it may force you to look at how close-minded you are, but that’s not really my problem…
Civilisation has enforced upon us monogamy and that this is the right way to have a healthy and successful relationship.
Monogamy is your basic: boy meets girl, boy meets boy, girl meets girl and they fall in love and stay in love with ONLY each other until problems start to arise.
It teaches us that, in these types of relationships cheating is forbidden and finding others attractive and tempting is frowned upon.
Monogamy is practiced widely throughout society and I guess it does have it’s advantages with the biggest benefit being that it ensures that we are able procreate and nurture babies in a stable and structured way.
But other than that, what is the real benefit of being truly monogamous with another person?
Is it the sense of ownership that we feel that we have over the other person?
Is it having our own ego and sense of self boosted by feeling loved, knowing that their love is only given to us?
Or is it the ingredient of security that we crave and long for, envisioning we will have this forever?
Whatever it is, monogamy has undoubtedly trained society into believing that if we don’t follow the rules of this specific way of loving, then ultimately we aren’t serious about our feelings and our relationships with others.
In 2019, the statistics in the UK showed that 42% of people that got married, also got divorced.
Does that not scare you? Almost half of the couples that got married, also got divorced? Out of that percentage, 62% were women who initiated the divorce.
May I also just add that the other 58% that didn’t get divorced are probably miserable, staying for the sake of the children, one of them is cheating behind their partners back repeatedly with or without the knowledge of the other party or divorce is disfavored within their culture or religion…
I think it’s fair to say that to get to a point of divorce, you have to be pretty unhappy in the relationship for months, even years before considering that to be an option.
Going through divorce is a lengthy, costly process which nobody wants to have to do unless it’s necessary.
Predominately, out of those figures, women were the ones who initially wanted the divorce. Which meant that their partner either betrayed them in some way or there had been a huge strain in the relationship which would suggest that they had been unhappy for a while.
***ATTENTION ALL LADIES! ***
Is this not ringing alarm bells in your head???
A few weeks ago, I did a survey on my Instagram page that asked whether people thought monogamy was natural/normal and below are the results…
Low and behold, there were more than half of people that voted yes than there were that voted no. A lot of the people that votes yes, were women.
I appreciate that a fair amount of women have always dreamed about their wedding day, being with the perfect partner, choosing the most beautiful dress and living a tremendous life with babies and happiness for the rest of their existence.
As lovely and comforting as those thoughts are, they are more or less fairy tales. I’m not saying that can’t happen by any means, but the likelihood of maintaining a relationship like that in 2021, where every person wants instant gratification, is very unlikely.
Social Media has also played a huge part in our beliefs of monogamy. “Relationship and couple goals” are a massive desire to have. A photo can look so picture perfect and make us crave a relationship like that, although we forget it’s just a damn picture. Those people in it, are not always that happy.
Naturally, humans are not designed to be monogamous, believe it or not, before western imperialism 83% of indigenous societies were poly amorous.
Poly amorous – the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.
DISCLAIMER – I do not believe that humans are naturally monogamous and I do not feel as though cheating is deceitful, I believe it’s human nature. Monogamy is a societal concept that was created upon emotions and ego.
Let me land…
Relating back to the fact about western imperialism, if it wasn’t for western society leading us to believe that monogamous was natural, then it wouldn’t have been normalised and we wouldn’t have these sorts of relationships, no?
It’s HUMAN NATURE – (the general psychological characteristics, feelings, and behavioural traits of humankind, regarded as shared by all humans) to want to be with more than one person at once. CHEATING IS NOT REAL.
The only person that we cheat, is the person that we have lied to in the first place about only having a relationship with them and only loving them.
When we are cheated on, we feel betrayed because the other person ‘promised’ they wouldn’t do those things with anyone else, whereas if they made us aware from the very beginning that they WILL be doing this with other people, and it was mutually agreed, we wouldn’t feel hurt.
Do you get it?
To a certain extent, people (men mainly) practice polyamory more often than not behind their partners backs. They act dishonorable, only because they haven’t been truly honest with their intentions to their partner.
Ask yourself this question, do you not think that if we practiced safe sex and were happy to have multiple partners with the consent of everyone required, then we would have much happier, and more care-free relationships?
No lies, no jealousy, no deceitfulness. Open, honest relationships. No cyber stalking, checking your partner’s phone when they’re sleeping. Not checking their Instagram to see who they’ve recently followed or who’s pictures they’ve liked. No stressing about what they’re out doing with their friends.
Believe me I have been there multiple times. The list could go and and honestly, it’s exhausting. It doesn’t even have to go to those extents (although majority of my relationships have).
You can be 5 years into a happy, healthy relationship and notice that your eyes start to wander, you no longer feel fufilled with your partner, whether that’s sexually or emotionally.
In monogamous relationships:-
There’s two options – 1. Follow your temptations and cheat on your partner OR 2. Tell your partner your feelings and hope that you can work things out and 9/10 nothing changes so you stay in an unfilled relationship which in turn makes you miserable and you end up leaving or cheating anyway…
Does it not make sense to have an open relationship to avoid anything like that from happening? ITS A FACT that by being with partner, they aren’t going to give us EVERYTHING we want from the relationship.
Would it not make sense to be with multiple people to get EVERYTHING we want and desire? SEXUALLY, EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY?
Ladies and gentleman, I really do rest my case. I’m not sure how much more I can promote these poly amorous relationships!
I have tried to be with one person only, tried and failed. Believe it or not, I get bored and as soon as my needs aren’t being met, I start to lose interest.
The UK society especially, has made us women seem slutty, used or sleazy if we see more than one person, but empower men for doing EXACTLY the same.
I’m sorry what????
GIRLS! (and men) Take your power and OWNERSHIP back and get everything you desire from numerous relationships. Don’t settle for just one person.
Also – We need to stop letting our EGO think that people belong to us. No one belongs to us. The sooner we let go of that idealism, the better.
I do hope this blog has given you something to think about at least and slightly changed your view on monogamy.
We don’t want to end up old, lonely, divorced and unfulfilled do we ? If we keep going the way we are in these monogamous relationships, then eventually that’s going to be outcome…